I thought I was one of the lucky ones when Conner started to sleep through the night at just 7 weeks, but now teething has messed-up our routine. Some nights are okay, but most nights he wakes up at least once in pain. With my delirious, sleep deprived mind I have come up with the ultimate ways to pay Conner back for torturing me.
Ways to embarrass Conner when he’s a teenager:
• When he brings friends home on a hot, sweaty day I’ll only wear a tank top and shorts (no bra) to do yard work.
• When Conner is in High School join the dance committee for PSA & make the theme 90's. Then Jason & I can chaperone and pull off our super cool rap skills & dance moves to “Ice, Ice Baby” and “Baby Got Back.”
• Ask him loudly if he tinkled okay & if he wiped the seat since he has such bad aim when he uses the restroom in public places.
• When he has some friends over and they are listening to their music pretty loud. I will jump into whatever room they are in and sing along and dance (If I don’t know the song, I will make lyrics up.)
• When he gets into college I will buy a billboard and post the photo of him in just a diaper with food all over his face and say "Conner Smith, mommies little angel-good luck baby, study hard!" (Thanks Sarah for this one.)
• Pull out baby pictures when he brings his girlfriends to the house. Not just a few, a whole album, that will take at least 30 minutes for us to look at all the picture.
• When he has a friend over of the opposite sex, I will make it a point to do my shopping list. Asking him if he needs anything from the store like some cream for the rash on his tushy.
• I will roll down the windows and yell “Mommy’s here!” & honk the horn repeatedly every time I pick him up from school.
• Call the office at his school and ask them to page him to come to the office, so I can give him a hug.
• I will act like a teenager when his friends are over and try to use the cool slang incorrectly.
• Yell “mommy loves you!” when he does well at a sporting event.
• Have them paged on an overhead speaker at the mall when he’s shopping with friends and when they meet me I will be wearing the most ridiculous outfit I can find with hair in rollers.
• I will walk in to his homeroom class his first day of HS & announce that he left his "teddy" at home & I wanted to make sure he wasn't crying.
Now, before the grandparents, aunts & uncles jump in to Conner’s rescue – This is all in fun. I do not actually plan on purposely embarrassing Conner (unless he acts his dad in his teen years.) And you guys know you wish you would have done a couple of these things when we were misbehaving to teach us a lesson.
